Naturism and my son
I am going to write a bit about my naturism and my son growing up. This is a subject that I expect many parents have had to deal with or are currently having to deal with but maybe i have taken a different path to them but I feel perhaps if I share my story then it will show others a way to deal with it.
I will start way back when he was young and I lived with my wife still. Back then I was a naturist and would be nude around the home all the time when it was just me, the wife and our son. She was not as much of a naturist as I was but would sit in the evening nude with me on the sofa and sometimes she would go out in the garden on the decking nude. When he was still what you would call a baby he would sometimes be taken out by the sister-in-law when we was both working and I remember one day when I had got home early from work and was nude in the garden when she brought him back. He was fast asleep and she had a key and left herself in. She appeared at the patio door holding him so I got up, walked over and took him from her whilst I was stood nude. this was not a problem as she knew I was a naturist, as did all the family, and this did not bother her.
A little while on and our son by this time was out of nappies and would often be nude indoors with us, so we was a normal naturist family it that respect and things stayed like this for a long time. We would spend family time indoors nude, eat together nude and generally just be nude indoors with no issue.
The years rolled by and eventually came the day when the marriage collapsed. She wanted different things in life from what I did, our son had been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome, as had I, and this was taking its toll on us. She then began to stay out clubbing all night and not coming back until the next day in the afternoon. Within a couple of weeks she said she did not love me anymore to which I replied that I thought we are beyond the point of working this out and we should get divorced. She moved out within a week as she had supposedly meet someone within that time and moved in with him, leaving me alone in a four bedroom dethatched home that I could not afford the payments on it so it was sold and I walked away from a 13 year relationship with £6000 to my name and moved down the road to a rented small semi detached two bedroom house.
At first things was fine. I was still a naturist and around the home I stayed nude. I got on well with the neighbors and they had no issues with me being nude in the garden so all was going great. My son came every weekend to my house and when he was there he was nude as well but as time went on he began to cover up more but I did not say anything about this. Things stayed like this for about 5 years and then I bought a shared ownership house in a town about 10 miles away. I would pick my son up after work on a Friday and then drop him back on a Sunday afternoon, this is still the arrangement to this day.
So by this time he was just around 12 and was starting to hit puberty so he was changing. I noticed he was now not getting nude at all at my house but I was still. We sat on the sofa one afternoon watching a film on tv together, laughing at it and eating popcorn. I thought I would bring up the subject of why he was now always clothed and he told me that when he and his mum moved to her new boyfriends house she stopped being a naturist and told him he was not to be one either. I was a bit shocked by this and explained he was allowed to be who he wanted to be at my home and that her rules did not apply here. He went on to tell me he hated not being able to be nude at his mums house but they would tell him off if he did not wear clothes. I was a little annoyed at this but it was their home so it was their rules. But at my house it was my home and I had no rules and told him it was ok here. after that he began to stay nude here again and life was normal again like it had been when we all lived together as a family.
After a couple of months he started to stay covered up when he was at my home. I did not say anything about this and thought I would see how things went. My son and I went on the road trip in our campervan to Gibraltar and on our way back I had planned to stop in Vera Playa for a couple of days and said we could stop on a naturist campsite or textile one and he said he was ok with the naturist one as I would be more relaxed their. We arrived there and I got nude once we had found a parking place but he was just wearing shorts. We set up the van and had food and said hello to the other campers next to use. We all sat there chatting and he was ok with this but wanted to keep his shorts on. A bit later we headed to the naturist beach and he asked if it was ok to wear his shorts. I told him to wear what he wanted and he did not have to worry about being nude. We stayed on the beach for the rest of the day and he loved being in the sea as it was so warm. He was relaxed and did not seem bothered by the fact everyone on the beach was nude including me.
When we arrived back at home in the UK I noticed after a couple of weeks he seemed a bit odd so I sat him down for a father and son chat. I was nude and he was clothed. I began by asking him if he was ok and if there was anything bothering him but he said he was fine. We chatted more and more and I touched on the fact he was now well in puberty and his hormones was probably changing and he told me he knew that and he was proud to tell me he had his first pubic hair. We chatted more and I told him I remember when I got mine but I did not like body hair so shaved from then and obviously still do. Eventually I got round to asking him why he no longer seemed to be nude and he replied that it was not for him now. I asked if it was where he was changing into a man etc but he just said he was more combatable wearing clothes now. I had a little think and decided that there was no point pushing this as if I kept on he would just get annoyed as it seemed that where he was in his teens he had obviously thought about this and it was not for him now at this time in his life so I had to respect this as it is his decision and nobody else could make it for him. Then I thought to ask another question - was he ok with me being nude still at home when he was there? The reply was a sheepish yeah but I could tell in his voice and the way he acted he was not keen on this. I picked up my dressing gown and covered up. I said to him I felt he was just saying that to keep me happy and to be honest to himself and answer it again and sure enough he said he would rather I covered up. One thing to remember is that a child may not have an opinion when they are young but as they grow older they are more capable of making decisions on things as they get a better understanding of the world around them and they may decide things are not what they like. When they do you must listen and respect this. For example they may when they are young like playing board games but as they grow older they find them boring and prefer not to play them. They have thought about this and made a decision and it has to be respected.
From that moment onwards I now cover up when he is around. When we are indoors together I am covered up. In the mornings I am up way earlier than him so I am nude downstairs until I hear him get up and walk out his room to the toilet. I get cover up at that point so when he comes down stairs I am already covered. If I am out in the garden early sunbathing nude I close the curtain to the garden and leave a note on it saying to text me when he is downstairs so I can cover up and come indoors.
No, this is not ideal as I dont like wearing clothes and would rather be nude but when he is here I have to think about his feelings. Say for example I continued to stay nude and ignored how he felt then how long would it be until he started to say he was not not coming over? It is not worth pushing this as he has made his decision and feels more comfortable clothed and would rather I am too when he is about. It is not just a case of do as I want in my home as I respect other peoples feelings, I would not go to my mum or my sisters house and as soon as I get through the door take my clothes off as they dont want to see me nude.
You need to think of how your actions make others feel and in these cases causing anguish or upset just for the sake of being more comfortable yourself is not worth it or acceptable. Take for example when out on a naturist walk you are asked by someone to cover up as they are uncomfortable with you being nude. Yes it is your right to be nude and it is not illegal and you are happy being nude but they are not and their feelings have to be taken in to consideration. For just a moment think how they are feeling and imagine you are them, they are genuinely feeling uncomeatable by how you are and may even feel worried by this - would you like to feel like that? I expect not so why would you want to be stood there saying its your right etc to be nude when you knowingly are making a person feel this way. Just cover up and everyone feels ok for that few moments. when they are out of site uncover again and carry on.
So nowadays he is now about to hit the magical age of 16 so we have had the bird and the bees chat and he has opened up to me that he still dont know if he is straight, bi or gay. I told him I dont care what sexual preference he has as I will always love him as he is my son no matter what. And as to the naturist side well things are unchanged. He knows I have a naturist website and that I go on naturist walks and holidays and he has no issues with that but it is not something he is interested in at this time.
Maybe in the future he may revert back to naturism, maybe he wont. One thing is for sure though, I will in no way pressure him to become a naturist and I will always make sure I am clothed when he is about as I always respect other peoples wishes and feelings and put them before my own.
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